Rough Day

     Sorry Friends... I know that so many of you have been waiting for an update but didn't have the best Dr's appt to begin with, and have been dealing with alot of pain...
     I met with my new gynecologist today to plead my case for a hysterectomy versus keeping my already polyp ridden, overgrown endometrial lining, and cyst on my ovary and putting tamoxifen in my system which increases the chance of developing ovarian and endometrial cancer  to begin with.
     Long story short last time Steve went with me and the doc was gentle and friendly and very kind... today when I came in with my Mom a plan in mind and all of the evidence to back it he was not friendly, and took on the attitude of superiority and then flat out decided he wasn't going to do it my way, period.
    My original appt he said that  I would go through all of my breast cancer treatment before we dealt with the polyp at all and would just monitor the cyst via ultrasound... which did not make me comfortable as he could not tell me definitivly that the polyp or cyst were benign.  Not to mention the pain, increased bleeding,clotting,bloating and all of the other symptoms that I have been having. And my family history of endometrial cancer...
     After my mastectomy I will be going on hormone therapy, with my preexisting issues I would rather forgo that have a hysterctomy and not worry about the chance of reccurrance in the ovaries or uterus and go on the better medicine that they offer for women that are post menopausal. I know many women who have been given hysterectomies just for abnormal bleeding...I do not see why this is an unreasonable request.
     So, as it stands here's what he said today...which by the way is completly opposite from what he said to me last time ... First period immediatly following mastectomy I go in right after it and have ultrasound to check on the cyst, at that time they will schedule a d&c to remove the polyp and biopsy it, and the surrounding tissue within the endometrium. So, the upside is at least the polyp will be removed and I will get the pathology on it...If pathology comes back with any cancer cells then I will get my hysterectomy, a complete hysterectomy which is different from one you would have without it being cancer surgery... if there is no cancer cells then the uterus stays... I am to have the Brca genetic test to find out if I have the breast cancer gene or the ovarian cancer gene... If I do then he will go in and take the ovaries and the tubes, but leave the uterus/?? I said why leave it in there and leave cancer the next place to breed, he said why remove it when its not cancer just monitor it...grrr havent I had enough medical mistakes and decisions that have gotten me into this position/? I don;t need it it's already diseased get rid of it...
    So , long story short I will be going very shortly after surgery to have an ultrasound, and then undoubtedly during chemo weak and bald I will go for a d&c , which by the way I do not get knocked out for just twilight sedation...
    Not exactly how i wanted my day to go, i did not go in there bossy or demanding but with genuine concern and just needed to be heard...clearly this doc was having none of that and apparently doesn't often have patients that research and are proactive in their care...I will NEVER blindly follow the advise of a medical professional again, this is my body and they have screwed it up enough... 
     For now I just have to get myself back in battle mode to get through the mastectomies which are in 6 days...9 days later I will see the surgeon to see if my drains are ready to be removed and later that same day I will see my medical oncologist to get set up for chemo and I will again plead my case against the tamoxifen.  I will go through the d&c and see what the polyps pathology is, and shortly thereafter i will have the genetic testing... with all of this knowledge obtained when I get those results then I will decide whether I need to get another gyne who is willing to let me be a part of the decision making on what it takes to save my life...
   Was just a dissapointing day ...not nearly as much from the news but from the fact this was the first doc I have encountered through upmc that I have not had faith in and I really need to have faith in them after my previous experiences. As well as the reality setting in of what it would mean to my kids if I have the BRCA gene...they will have to live in constant fear of this ugly disease.