Knowledge is power

     I have always been one that when someone has a problem or is sick ,I look up everything I can research to try to fix what I can...One of my favorite sayings is "Knowledge is power". so as you can imagine I have been looking up everything possible to try to give myself the best chance possible of surviving this mess.
     Well, I started thinking about how this could have happened and trying to link the events together to formulate a plan... At least for me the more I know about something , and the more prepared I am the less afraid I feel about it. And lack of medical competence has made me feel less than secure about blindly trusting...
     So, last night I got overcome with this feeling that I hate, it hits you when you least expect it and knocks the wind out of you...it's the voice that says" you might die from this". I am sure that it is a normal feeling and I don't allow myself to linger there or to dwell on it.  I don't cry and get all emotional. I just feel it then I make it go away the best I can.
    Instead of dwelling on that fear I use the time to try to form a plan that I can use to arm myself with the knowledge that will help me be proactive in my own care and take a part in the decisions that will make a difference in whether I live or die from this.
    Some things I realize I have no power to change ...I do have cancer, I do have to lose my breast, my best chance at survival is chemo and radiation and those things are facts.... But I started thinking about my whole body and how it all works together and what else is going on in there.
     I have three types of cancers in my brest all of which are estrogen and progestron positive, which treatment wise is good because they respond well to hormone blockers, that work to starve the tumors away... The surgery wil remove as much cancer as possible along with a margine of healthy tissue that surrounds it where cancer may be hiding... The chemo travels systemically through your whole body to attack any mutated cells that may have traveled away from the tumor , but also damages alot of other things in the process...
     As I stated above the cancers are estrogen positive which means the estrogen in my body is feeding them... essentially cancer  starts from normal cells thats dna for some reason mutates and they turn to cancer cells that divide and grow at an abnormally fast rate.
    Well I now know through the battery of tests that they have given me that I have a polyp in my endometrial lining as well as a debris filled cyst on my ovary... and a thickening to my lining as well... As I researched yesterday and looked at the link between these things I found out that all of this is caused by estrogen... Well, estrogen is produced in the ovaries.... so it makes perfect sense that those two areas of my body that I am having problems with have a common link...
     I know I am getting all technical , but am trying to form this all on paper so that I can refer to it  when I go to my doc armed with this plan... the plan as it stands is the Breast cancer must take precedence over all else so i have to do the surgery first. The gyne then said as soon as I get my first period I am to call to schedule another ultrasound to check the cyst as well as the lining and the polyp. Which means I will more than likely just be starting to recover from the surgery or be in chemo at that time.
   The gyne's plan is to take care of the breast cancer first then do a d&c to remove the polyp and be sure it is benign.  Well here is my thought on that... I do know that I will be treated with an oral hormone blocker tamoxifen after chemo and radiation...Tamoxifen acts in a way that blocks estrogen from adhering to breast cancer cells blocking them from feeding on the estrogen and basically starving them. But tamoxifen works on the endometrium in the exact opposite way... so the whole time you are on it which is usually 5 to 10 years or until you become menopausal you are constantly checked for endometrial and ovarian cancer because you are at a much higher risk of developing cancers there from this med...
     So, I am thinking why would I just have a d&c... I already have the polyps and cysts that they look for and biopsy for signs that you will develop a cancer there... why in the world would i just get tested every three months waiting for canccer to start when I already have abnormal growth in my uterus as well as cysts on my ovary... If the put me on tamoxofin and fuel it with even more estrogen I will be doomed.
     So, I plan to go get the ultrasound and see the gyne where I then plan to ask him if and when I can get a complete hysterectomy... therefore no ovaries to feed the breast tumor and no uterus for the tamoxifen to fuel... As well as when you are placed into surgical menopause you are offered a new drug called an aromatase that is strictly for post menopausal women and does not have the side effects of tamoxifen and doesnt fuel anything bad.
    So, I need prayers that my gyne will be willing to hear me out on this...that I can put it to him in an educated enough of a way that he sees where I am coming from and if I am correct on the facts , then I need prayer that somehow this can happen...I really believe this is my best chance at saving my life and reducing the change of reccurrance and spread of this disease...
     Timing of the surgery will be a big issue.  As I already stated the Breast cancer has to take precedence... So I am thinking after the chemo and radiation, roughly a year from now If the doctor agrees and feels it advisable. I would have a full hysterectomy prior to even thinking about reconstruction... Unless the monitoring of my uterus or cyst would envoke faster action...
    Wondering if any of you other ladies who read my blog and are going through this have any thoughts on this issue??
    Well back to reality i have to take my Little Tori Rose to get her dance pics today and emotional day all around as my Best friend will be going to help me and i have not seen her since my diagnoses. And i havent been to dance to see my dance friends either. I pray that God gives me the strength and checks my emotions so I make it through this day. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.