Hopefully surgeries are behind me for awhile...

     Well yesterday was another long day ... I had developed a seroma or a ballon type fluid filled sac along the inscision near my underarm on the right side where my axilary dissection was, it was about the size of a softball. I had lived in fear of this happening since they took my drain out... and low and behold there it was... It felt like a water balloon, but was really sore and uncomfortable to lay on or anything. This is a image of what a seroma looks like via ultrasound the black area is the fluid pocket:

     I was afraid of it getting infected and with Chemo coming up so rapidly I knew I couldn't afford an infection of any kind... the voice of my breast surgeon on our first visit plays over and over in my head , she said: "As much as I would like to take all of the credit for removing your breast to save your life, the most important role in all of this is the chemotherapy,that is what will save your life." There it was ,she had said it,  there was no way I could rebuke or get out of chemo, it was gonna have to happen.
     Over the weekend I left messages at my surgical oncologist office to see what to do about this seroma...They don't come into the office until early monday morning though. So, I knew I would not hear from them until then. Problem was I was scheduled for a Hysteroscopy, d&c and polyp removal at 10:30 am. And I wasn't sure if it was okay to have the surgery with this seroma or if it was an infection risk. 
     We had to call Dad in the morning because the unexpected two hour school delay meant we had no way to get to surgery and get the girls to school at the same time. So, I drug him outta bed and he was here in half an hour. As soon as he got here we left because the roads were not great getting to Pittsburgh.
     So, we decided to just go up to the Surgical oncologist office and ask on the off chance that someone could at least look at the seroma. I have to say I cannot say a single bad word about Magee hospital or its wonderful employees... Cancer is a terrible thing , no doubt, but since I have set foot in that building I have never encountered a single person that was not full of compassion ,knowledge and eagerness to help me beat this. We walked up to the front desk with no appointment within minutes the receptionest had found out that my doc was in surgery and her assistant which usually sees me was in surgery with her... But she said just hold on a minute and I will see what I can do. She called the Dr's asst. in the next office who agreed to leave her office and was there to see me in no more than 10 minutes! I mean where do you go and get this kind of care? She examined me and agreed it was a seroma, said I could chose to leave it there and see if it would reabsorb or she could needle aspirate it. I decided I wanted it gone as it was large enough that I couldnt even rest my arm to my side anymore and I NEED to get this chemo done on schedule. So, even though this wasn't her office or her patient she went about finding the needed supplies to help me...how wonderful is that. I do not believe that these things happen all on their own though I think that everyones prayers for me has lined up alot of these things happening smoothly for me.
     In she comes with the ultrasound machine I asked her before she pulled out anything else just how big this needle was gonna be and she said, "oh its just a normal needle...and I have small hands so I dont use a huge syringe". Okay I thought this is good... Yeah right she then pulled out the largest needle I have honestly seen in real life looked like something to inseminate cattle.lol... Steve and I looked at each other like  WHAT??!! This is not the actual needle but is the same size and gauge;
Steve said, "yeah tori has small hands but if you put a machette in them  she could do some damage" lol  It it such a blessing to have him with me , he makes me laugh ALWAYS no matter how dire the situation we always find something to laugh about, to smile about and to be happy about... He is flat out wonderful!And his joking nature relieves so much tension in me. But when she pulled out this needle I thought he was gonna go down... But he didn't I told him he could leave and he said "No way" this is a man who would nearly faint at the sight of anything when he thought I was in pain before this whole mess started...But though he can't take this cancer and suffering from me he has learned top put his feelings aside and fears aside and stand tall with me... he did not however LOOK at anything but the ultrasound machine...lol

    Yeah, I know, right??? looked like something straight from the movie Scream... Well now that I have terrified you all I have to tell you that it really wasn't that bad... I was surprised when she went directly into the mastectomy incision line as it is the numbest area... I did not feel the needle going in until she was past that initial scarring , then it was uncomfortable but no where near what I had invented it in my head to be... So, I made a mental note to self...STOP OBSESSING and worrying until you have a reason to... I wasted so much time worrying and being afraid when I could have been spending that time doing something much better.
      The images above are stock images... when she withdrew the fluid  it was straw colored , not bloody like the one I used for dramatic effect above ;) but that is what I envisioned.
     She withdrew 30ccs of fluid  which was a full syringe then another 10 ccs. I still have a good bit of fluid left but she feels it will reabsorb on its own.
    So, I was able to then go to my surgery with only a small bandaid... we arrived one hour early, unfortuantly for us we didn't even get to preop until 11:00 and the doc popped in in a business suit clearly not ready for surgery at 12:00...so we sat there until 1:00 before they ever took me to the OR.  I understand that things happen and all,and at this hospital the nurses and docs give the BEST care... but man I was so sore and tired before I even got my surgery just from sitting uncomfortably. And clearly the way the doc was dressed he was not stuck in surgery...So I have no idea why the wait was so long... The nurses were terrified of my port and talked to the anesthesia doc who decided since it had not been accessed yet they didnt want to touch it, which was okay by me since it is still so sore... Though I wonder why in the world I have it if they are afraid to use it? Anyways they were able to get the i.v. into the only good vein I have left.
     They gave me a shot of Versed on the way to the O.R. and it made me feel so weird this time he musta gave me a BIG dose as I am usually not affected by meds...it took three times at sedation on the last port surgery...but that Versed man...I felt like Alice in the Rabbit hole on Alice in Wonderland...
    Anyways I remeber getting on the table and scooting down and I was out like a light till recovery room... thank Goodness...the least I know the better in some cases....
     Stve had gone down to get something to eat since they told him i would be in recovery and hour or so... he was shocked when he passed the surgery doing my d&c in the hall going to the cafeteria... he was already down there only 18 minutes after starting my surgery so apparently he did quick work.
   I was shocked at the amount of cramping and bleeding but they did take a polyp out in addition to the d&c... Biopsy will be back by Friday he said... No tub baths...yada yada...
     Anyways...YAY prayerfully that will be the last surgical procedure that I will be needing for a LONG time... I know pretty much every nurse in every area of that hospital I have been there so many times that I am known as a regular... 24 visits in 30 days...
    I pulled up my UPMC account yesterday it was over $90,000.00 and this is prior to yesterdays procedures and chemo and radiation, we do not owe that entire amount thank God, but any amount is a hardship when both of us are missing so much work...So , Steve paid small amounts to the hospital and to the docs, and we will have to chip away at out portion of that cost...
     Today I feel a good bit better other than a hangover headache from what they gave me via IV yesterday and a little cramping... I am so wanting to get up and create but was told to NOT EXERT...that it increases both the drainage in my seroma and the bleeding from the surgery yesterday.   I hate laying still... uggg especially since I feel like I want to run and do all I can before chemo interrupts my life...but I know I have to listen...so, I will...
    But one more thing tackled... to get closer to putting this behind me...Thank for sharing in my journey today! hugs!