Chemo number 23!

I'm sorry I haven't updated...chemo this time made me very sick as the last two bags were infused...I'm sure it is the accumulative effects and I didn't watch as carefully and am not positive that she gave me both of the bags of anti nausea premeds...Mom said she thinks she only saw one hanging as well. Anyways about the middle of the last premed bag I always start feeling nauseous and stomach crampy get red cheeks and get hot... it usually passes... This time though it didn't and as soon as the chemo bag was hung I got really strange feeling... I was getting a headache another normal thing on chemo day but everyone around me started to look like I was seeing them in a fishbowl and even voices started sounding warbled I was seeing floaters in my eyes...got immensely nauseous and felt like I was gonna faint at any minute... all of which is not a good thing especially when I have to go to the restroom every ten minutes and if I go down in there all of the toxic chemo bags would bust on the floor and that would be a hazardous waste dump... So Mom always walks be in and then stands outside of the door but this time she had to go in and steady me and stay with me everytime. When I started feeling so bad Mom insisted I have the nurse check my vitals... So she did, but she shut down the chemo for a while to make sure I was okay. When my heart , lungs and pressure all looked good she started it back up...I was able to finish but I felt and apparently looked terrible the whole time I went into the restroom one last time before we left and the nurses were waiting outside of the door for me as they knew I would resist, but they would not let me walk out of the center... and I probably would have been stubborn enough to try. So the were waiting for me with a wheelchair. Dad had to practically lift me into the car I was sick the whole way home...just exhausted headache and still so odd feeling. When we got home Dad lifted me out of the car and somehow got me into this house me trying to walk but him carrying most of my weight. I had to go a few steps then stop... when we got in I had to stop and sit... then I had to stop again in the next room. The steps looked like mount Everest to get to my room... so with Dad helping I crawled up them...but it took a LONG time. When I finally got up there Mom had to literally help me on and off the the toilet and dress me then Dad lifted me onto the bed...I know this is probably TMI for many but I want you to have a realistic view of what cancer patients go through. I do not know what I would do without my Mom and Dad. They never make me feel humiliated but I so hate they have to take care of me and spend so much time doing so. Usually the terrible leg pain doesn't start until the 3rd day but this time it was immediately after chemo. The new meds help a little. I could probably benefit from an ER trip but it is tolerable so I am making do. Mom and Dad WOULD NOT leave my side Mom kept mopping my brow like she did when I was little and dad would sit a little then stand at the bed not quite sure what to do but wanting to make me feel better. Dad went up and got Tori off the bus and then ran and got then dinner at DQ. WI was finally able to convince them that I wouldn't get up without help to the bathroom then they went home.
     I drove Mom when she was going through her own cancer. I spent nights  at the hospital with her.But I am sorry Mom Annamarie Lacey I could have done so much better. The only excuse I had was that Tori was still a baby a... BUt it is not good enough. You and dad have gone above and beyond and taught me a lot through this as well. You will never go to Shady Pines lol.